Austrian authorities have decided to weld shut the door to the secret cellar where notorious rapist and Two and a Half Men fan Josef Fritzl imprisoned his daughter and their seven children because, well, "teenagers have been partying in his secret dungeon."
The Daily Mail says it's now littered with "old computers, smashed up chairs, a mattress, drug paraphernalia, smashed alcohol bottles and soiled clothes," which, yes, sounds like teenagers to me. (Except "old computers"? Is that a "thing" now?) The paper also claims to have spoken with someone who'd been down there:
'The smell is atrocious; there has been no air and mildew covers the walls while the floors have deep puddles in places. It has become somewhat ‘cool' among the young in Amstetten to say you have been down in "the cellar". You don't have to say which one - everyone knows what you mean.
'Rat droppings have intermingled with the stubs of cigarettes and food wrappers. There is no electricity but partygoers have used candles.
'The walls are very thick. You can play music down there and no-one will hear, or see any light.
Well, hmm, this is not really surprising, right? Teenagers always flock to their town or city's "abandoned mental asylum" or "house where this guy murdered his wife," because they are teenagers, and they are gross. It's just that in Amstetten, that particular archetype is fulfilled by "horrible incest cellar dungeon."