On tonight's Modern Family, Claire and Mitchell's mother (Shelley Long) comes to visit, and then pulls a Jay and Gloria by hooking up with Claire's high school boyfriend (Matt Dillon).

Also, Cam attempts to upstage Cinderella and Gloria washes down a Xanax with a shot of tequila. Happy birthday, Lily!

All this party is missing is a video ho setting her hair on fire in a bath tub.