Expert Advice for Fugitive Senators: 'Call Your Spouses For Conjugal Visits'S

Wisconsin's 14 Democratic Senators are still hiding out-of-state to stop a vote on Gov. Scott Walker's "budget repair bill," the one that goes out of its way to destroy public sector unions.

They were hiding at a Rockford, Illinois Best Western Resort and indoor water park until the Tea Party chased them out. It's unclear where they're cooped up now, but they'd better stay cooped! One brilliant senator — and Republicans only need one to show up at the Senate in order to hold their vote — thought it would be a good idea to sneak home last night for some shut-eye, and barely escaped the police. Bad. Bad!

Their plan is to stay in hiding until Walker opens negotiations on the bill. It doesn't sound like too much to ask for when you're facing annihilation, but Walker wants to be the new national Republican hero and probably won't be compromising anytime soon. So these 14 Democrats better get used to their new lives hopping between the quaint highway motels of northern Illinois.

But how should they pass the time when they're not running away from the Tea Party? The Huffington Post's Sam Stein got in touch with the last state legislators who fled their state — Texas Democrats who, in 2003, ran to New Mexico to delay a Republican redistricting plan — and asked what advice they'd give the Wisconsin outlaws. Top on the list: Fuck something.

"If you are going to be out more than two weeks call your spouse for conjugal visits," explained Texas Democrat Leticia Van de Putte, who, back in 2003, was one of 11 state senators who fled to New Mexico in order to stall Republican redistricting plans. "After two weeks — and most of my colleagues are men — I said get their wives here and quick because you are under intense stress."

She's not joking. Among the many trying elements that come with a "quorum break," the disruption to a lawmaker's personal life ranks highest. In interviews with The Huffington Post, several legislators and a top staffer who went through the Texas saga called it, easily, the most exhausting of their careers.

Gross.

[Image from the Wisconsin State Capitol via AP]