Chicago's grueling race for mayor is over; results have been called, and the winner is... Richard Daley's secret brother Cosmo! Kidding. Kidding! The winner, as has been predicted forever, is foul-mouthed former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel.
By taking home more than 50 percent of the vote, Emanuel avoids a runoff and is granted the right of Prima Nocte within city environs. For more, we turn, as we always do when we hear news of Emanuel, to the allegedly parodic Twitter account @MayorEmanuel:
Good luck, Chicago! Try not to make him mad.