Everyone was befuddled when the news dropped that instead of some familiar old-ish white man or Whoopi Goldberg, this year's Oscar hosts would be Anne Hathaway and James Franco. Well, the James Franco bit just seemed like yet another weird event in his performance art career of being weird, so sure, OK. But the Hathaway angle remained confusing. Now we see why!
After the initial "Her?" reaction died down, a little promo clip was released that was actually sorta funny! Funny at least in the Anne Hathaway getting tackled to the ground style of funny. So maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Weird, but not awful. Hathaway has proven she can sing, so maybe she'll just be the prettily trilling straight woman to Franco's elasti-faced whatever. Fine. We can deal with that.
But now. Oh but now. Now this newer, longer promo clip has been released and Anne Hathaway is not playing the straight woman. No. She is doing jokes! Anne Hathaway-style jokes! And they are very bad. And her delivery is very bad. She is the dorky girl with the makeover who thinks she's cool all of a sudden. She is Mia Thermopolis in Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement. I mean, that jokey dancing thing? I'm pretty sure the last time that was funny, I was drinking Busch Light from a can and "Let's Get Retarded" was blasting on Laurence the theater senior's speakers. Which is to say some seven years ago. Also, fake outtakes? Lah-haaaame. Just the lamest. I've now swung back to where I originally started. This is going to be a disaster. Not, mind you, that the Oscars are ever that funny, but Jon Stewart and Ellen DeGeneres and even Martin-Baldwin did pretty good work.
And no, I am not mildly intrigued by this curious Grease redo thing that Franco posted on his Twitter. I'm not. Apparently they're doing that number on the show on Sunday. Disaster. Disaster, I say!