Two and a Half Men shuts down for the season, Susan Sarandon heads to 30 Rock, Chelsea Handler will play her own older sister, and preview Gwenyth Paltrow's latest song for Glee.

TV News, Links, and What to Watch TonightS

ABOVE: A scene from Portlandia, which finishes its freshman season on IFC tonight at 10:30pm. Set those DVRs! [Plover]

What's New on TV Tonight

8 PM — 9 PM
ABC: Supernanny
CBS: The Defenders
NBC: Who Do You Think You Are?
FOX: Kitchen Nightmares
The CW: Smallville
Syfy: WWE Friday Night Smackdown
OWN: Season 25: Oprah Behind the Scenes

9 PM — 10 PM
FOX: Fringe
CBS: CSI: NY
PBS: Need To Know
The CW: Supernatural
BBC America: Law & Order: U.K.
ABC: Primetime: What Would You Do?
Travel Channel: Ghost Adventures
TLC: Say Yes to the Dress
Teen Nick: Degrassi
OWN: Your OWN Show

10 PM — 11 PM
ABC: 20/20
CBS: Blue Bloods
Syfy: Merlin
E!: The Soup and Fashion Police
IFC: Onion News Network and Portlandia (Season Finale)
TLC: DC Cupcakes (Season Premiere)
Discovery: Gold Rush: Alaska: Full Disclosure
Current: Bar Karma
STARZ: Spartacus: Gods of the Arena

Tonight's Late Night Guests

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Emily Blunt, Jackson Murphy, Darlene Love (NBC)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Jason Sudeikis, Amber Heard, Cyril Renaud
(NBC)
Late Show with David Letterman: Matthew Morrison, Jeff Altman, Jessica Lea Mayfield
(CBS)
Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson: Melissa Leo, Phil Keoghan (CBS)

  • In TV News...

  • After Charlie Sheen's latest horrible rant on the radio, the set of Two and a Half Men has shut down for the rest of the season. [TVLine]
  • Susan Sarandon is popping up on the March 17th episode of 30 Rock. Surprise! [Vulture]
  • Chelsea Handler will reportedly play her own older sister on Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea. (Laura Prepon is slated to play the NBC-friendly, TV version of Chelsea.) [E! Online]
  • So this is weird: Bill O'Reilly made some kind of claim that he may appear on Glee, stating that he had just visited the set. [TV Squad]
  • Simon Cowell told Ryan Seacrest that despite not having booked a host for X Factor yet, he or she will definitely be American. Please say it's Paula! [Ryan Seacrest]
  • True Blood's Michael McMillian will guest star on Hot In Cleveland. [TVLine]
  • Prepare yourself for Sunday by watching these 5 Oscar-nominated movies on Netflix. [Whacha Gonna Queue]
  • Hooray! Parks and Recreation's ratings are up—which is a feat, considering that it competes directly with American Idol. [TVLine]
  • Preview Gweynth Paltrow's latest song for Glee— a cover of Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide." [TV Squad]
  • Around the Web...

  • Nikki Finke has a bunch of Oscar-Night spoilers that you can read, if you feel so inclined. [Deadline]
  • Here are the first stills from the new Toy Story short that takes place in Hawaii. [Vulture]
  • That "Cats That Look Like Ron Swanson" site? Nick Offerman tells Vulture that he's seen it: "I guess it was about two days ago, I was suddenly plagued by 40 different people sending it to me, saying, 'I assume you've seen this." [Vulture]
  • Listen to Louis C.K. ask Donald Rumsfeld if he's some kind of alien lizard. [Splitsider]
  • Here's an adorable interview with Amy Poeher's parents. [Wall Street Journal]
  • These modeling photos of Top Chef contestant Carla Hill are stunning. Get on with your bad self, girl! [iVillage]
  • Joel McHale is in talks to join Ted, a live-action comedy by Seth MacFarlane. [Deadline]
  • Read Disney's 1976 rejection letter to Tim Burton. [Vulture]
  • James Van Der Beek stars in Ke$ha's latest video. Did they meet over at the Funny or Die offices or something? [Movieline]