How can we fix global warming? (Assuming it's not a plot hatched by public employee unions to force sharia law on the U.S.) One solution, promoted egghead "scientists," would be to stop driving cars and focus on renewable energy sources. But new computer models suggest a much easier, and far more fun, solution: A nuclear war!
It doesn't even need to be a big nuclear war. A "small" nuclear war (India and Pakistan, I'm looking at you!), according to NASA researchers, "could spark 'unprecedented' global cooling." Now, of course, "widespread famine and disease would likely follow, experts speculate," but, hey, you can't make a global-cooling omelette without breaking a few widespread-famine eggs, right?
According to the fancy science computer models, we'd be talking an average drop of 2.25 degrees Fahrenheit (and as much as 7.2 degrees in extreme locations). The cooling would continue for at least ten years—and when it starts warming up again, who says we can't throw another little nuclear holocaust? Plus, listen to how fun it sounds:
"Examples similar to the crop failures and famines experienced following the Mount Tambora eruption in 1815 could be widespread and last several years," [research physical scientist Luke Oman] added. That Indonesian volcano ushered in "the year without summer," a time of famines and unrest.
All these changes would also alter circulation patterns in the tropical atmosphere, reducing precipitation by 10 percent globally for one to four years, the scientists said.... In addition, researcher Michael Mills, of the National Center for Atmospheric Research in Colorado, found large decreases in the protective ozone layer, leading to much more ultraviolet radiation reaching Earth's surface and harming the environment and people.
"The main message from our work," NASA's Oman said, "would be that even a regional nuclear conflict would have global consequences."
Global consequences... for good! Where do we sign up?