In last night's installment of HIMYM, we learn that Barney actually has a heart, albeit during a cheesy scene in a hospital room in which the doctor tells him "Your heart literally skipped a beat!" Also: Robin dates a dog.
Not a real dog, of course, but a young dude names Scooby that has many dog-like mannerisms—or as Marshall put it, dogerisms.
Later, Robin leaves her
man with Ted, Marshall, and Lily which could have been a disaster if it wasn't for the dank bag of "sandwiches" Scooby picked up in the park. (For those who don't regularly watch, HIMYM has always referred to any marijuana use as "eating sandwiches" given that the whole premise of the show is based on Ted telling this story to his children.) After eating brownies, Marshall describes Barney's blackmail.
And here's the proof.
When Barney goes out with Nora, Lily demands that he not lie to her at all, and when marriage comes up, he responds like so (see above.) Later, he continues the guise that he's pure and clean and makes the whole gang lie to her. Eventually, he admits he was only acting that way to sleep with her—and he gets slapped.
Aaaand then there was this piece of pure cheese. (Maybe even worse than last week's futuristic-hologram-skype-phone-call?) Why, HIMYM, why? Anyway, apparently Barney does want to get married and have kids—and maybe even with Nora—but when he goes to the restaurant where she said she'd be having brunch with her parents, he doesn't actually go in. Womp-womp, whatever, he should do those "serious things" with Robin.