Kim Kardashian debuted her first foray into music—a feat of autotuning called "Jam"—on Ryan Seacrest's radio show today. "Turn me up, Turn me up, Turn me, Turn me, Turn me up," she bleats thinly. Kim is either trapped at a club with very quiet DJ (The same club where Ke$ha and J.Lo are always begging, "Turn it up." Maybe the deejays are quiet because they only have access to shitty songs?) or she is asking us to turn up the faucet from which all things Kim Kardashian pour, because this song is a celebration of the art of earning your keep with half-hearted product endorsements and paid appearances:
DJ, here I am!
Feeling good, feeling great, just got paid!
Kim Kardashian has arrived. Pay up, suckers. [Ryan Seacrest]