Christina Aguilera has landed a gig on The Voice, the Oscars censor Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin, lots of shows (Fantasty Factory! Weeds! The Big C!) get premiere dates and Ed Burns is making an Entourage for 40-year-olds.

ABOVE: Here is what you get when you mix the Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness and Charlie Sheen's new experience "Winning." Click here to see a gigantic version. [Deuce of Clubs via Laughing Squid]

What's New on TV Tonight

8 PM — 9 PM
CBS: Survivor
FOX: American Idol
The CW: America's Next Top Model
ABC: The Middle and Better With You
Food Network: Throwdown With Bobby Flay
A&E: Dog the Bounty Hunter
Syfy: Ghost Hunters
G4: Campus PD

9 PM — 10 PM
ABC: Modern Family and Mr. Sunshine
CBS: Criminal Minds
NBC: Minute to Win It
The CW: Shedding for the Wedding
Travel Channel: Man vs. Food: Carnivore Chronicles'

10 PM — 11 PM
CBS: Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior
FX: Justified
ABC: Off the Map
Syfy: Face Off
Bravo: Top Chef All-Stars
TV Land: Hot in Cleveland and Retired at 35
TLC: Hoarding: Buried Alive
Spike: 1000 Ways to Die

Tonight's Late Night Guests

The Daily Show: Allison Stanger (Comedy Central)
The Colbert Report: Harry Connick Jr. (Comedy Central)
Conan: Chelsea Handler, Anthony Mackie, Mavis Staples (TBS)
Lopez Tonight: Ron Artest, DJ Pauly D, Michelle Rodriguez, Future Funk (TBS)
Chelsea Lately: Anna Faris (E!)
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Amanda Seyfried, Nick Offerman (ABC)
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Simon Cowell, Jeff Gordon, Travis Barker (NBC)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Abigail Breslin, Mike Tyson, Motorhead (NBC)
Late Show with David Letterman: Donald Trump, Vanessa Hudgens, Oh Land (CBS)
Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson: Hugh Laurie, Ariel Tweto (CBS)

In TV News...

  • Ed Burns has signed onto a new TV pilot called 40, an Entourage-style show a bout a group of friends in their 40s. [TV Guide]
  • Ooooh! Perez Hilton is reporting that Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem kissed each other during their bit at the Oscars, but the cameras cut away. [Vulture]
  • Ashley Judd has signed onto the ABC pilot Missing, in which she'll play a former CIA agent who travels to Europe to track down her missing son. [Deadline]
  • The fourth season of Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory will return on April 4th—and both Justin Bieber and the band DEVO will appear in the season. MTV has also announced another new show for Dyrdek called Ridiculousness, which debuts in June. Here's the premise: "he takes the funniest amateur Internet videos and gives it his own unique spin in front of a studio audience." So... Tosh.0.2.0? [The Hollywood Reporter]
  • Hung will add some new blood next season, in the form of Leven Rambin and Stephen Amell. [TVLine]
  • Showtime has announced that Weeds and The Big C will return on June 27th ans will run for 13 episodes each. [Deadline]
  • NBC confirms: Christina Aguilera will be the third coach of The Voice. [NBC]
  • Diane Neal will reprise her role as ADA Casey Novak on an upcoming episode of Law & Order: SVU. [TVLine]
  • Jamie Pressly will star in Fox's pilot for I Hate My Teenage Daughter—which isn't as horrible as it sounds. It'll focus on two mothers who realize that their daughters have grown into the same "Mean Girls" who tortured them in high school. [Deadline]

Around the Web...

  • Here's a list of the "most-paused moments" from movies, which you can safely assume is mainly a list of moments when celebrities show their naughty-bits. [Love Film]
  • What it really means when Michael Cera runs in a movie. [Movieline]
  • Jonah Hill will direct a drama that involves Vampires, Zombies, and Aliens. [Splitsider]
  • Ryan Gosling went to the Zoo the other day and yes, the photos are just as freakin' adorable as you're imagining right now. [Best Week Ever]
  • The 11 weirdest members of the X-Men. [MTV Geek]
  • The Village Voice has a great story about Porlandia's Carrie Brownstein. Total Girlcrush! [Village Voice]
  • This roundup of ten awful pieces of TV memorabilia includes a Tony Soprano "Little Duckling" mouse pad. [Warming Glow]
  • Here's Christina Aguilera's mugshot—not quite Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton status, but good never the less. [Buzzfeed]
  • Wow, I can definitely get behind this: Five reasons Paul Rudd should host the next Oscars. [Best Week Ever]