Today in College Sex: Masturbation Guides and Naked Parties

Despite current statistics, it seems college students are always doing sex things. One day it's a fucksaw demonstration, the next it's a naked party that gets out of hand or publicly posted guides on how to masturbate. The latter two are what we're talking about today.

We travel first to the leafy Eden-among-the-ruins that is Yale's New Haven campus. There's a student society there called The Pundits, a group of "campus wits" who throw annual naked parties as part of their tap week (which is basically rush week). Typically it's no harm, no foul, just a bunch of naked collegers giggling and straining their tiny livers with beer. This year's naked party, though, went a bit too far. It seems that several partygoers were taken to the hospital, and now the Yale police department is now investigating. It's unclear whether the students were hospitalized because of excessive drinking or if it had to do with the alleged sexual misconduct that took place at the party. From the Yale Daily News:

Multiple students alleged attendees complied with the Pundits' requests because of the pressures of the pre-tap process.

"The biggest problem, and what was dis-inhibiting people, was that they were force-feeding people alcohol and they couldn't say no because of the power dynamic," one student said.

Another student who spoke with the News was sent to Yale-New Haven Hospital following what the student described as forced, heavy drinking at the party. The student's residential college dean told the student that four other attendees were sent to Yale-New Haven Hospital and six others to Yale Health, the student said. (The student spoke to the News on the condition gender not be revealed).

This student said the YPD reached out as part of a preliminary investigation into the party, and added that the police planned to speak with at least 16 students - those who came forward to aid the investigation or received medical attention.

The YPD investigator asked unprompted whether sexual misconduct occurred at the party, according to the student that was sent to the hospital. The student recalled for the investigator witnessing a member of the Pundits forcing attendees to kiss each other and that a Pundit forced a male friend's face onto another's penis.

Yikes! Guys. Don't ever force anyone's face into anyone's penis. Leaving aside the obvious sexual assault implications, you also run the risk of accidental bonerdom while you do the forcing. You're at a naked party! That is the least advisable time to aggressively act on your latent, buried manlust.

The Yale police department is, understandably, taking the forced sexual acts aspect of the party pretty seriously. There's a fine line between good dirty fun and creepy gang bang scenario, and it seems these reckless Elis have found it.

Moving on to something slightly less potentially upsetting, we head to Skidmore, the upstate mecca for kids who are still figuring a lot of things out. It seems the school's Center for Sex and Gender Relations, a student-run, faculty-overseen program, created handy (heh) guide to masturbation, with illustrations and helpful tips and all-around encouragement, and posted it in bathrooms across campus. Some people are upset. From the Times Union:

Students created 300 copies of the "restroom reader" with the help of a college administrator. A number of the fliers were placed in bathroom stalls in dorms, classroom buildings and the college library.
The poster invites male and female readers to "think up your fantasies."

"Spend time thinking about what really gets you going, and spend your day thinking about situations that get you turned on," the Racy Reader says.

Not everyone is feeling the love. A college employee contacted the Times Union this week to lodge a complaint about the "masturbation posters."

"I just really believe that an employee ought to have the right to use public facilities at his/her work place without being accosted by this type of material, and I am troubled in particular that it seems to come with the authorization of a college office," said the person, who asked to remain anonymous.

Accosted! It sounds like someone doesn't love themselves enough.

But that someone is not college students, who are always doing sex things, and may you never forget it.