Today at Gawker.TV, Jon Cryer gets back to work as Ellen's assistant, Chelsea Handler makes fun of fire-crotches, LaToya Jackson slams Star Jones, Matt Damon nixes a political career, and Bill Maher predicted this whole Charlie Sheen fiasco in 2009.

Hear Bill Maher's Prophetic Words About Charlie Sheen From 2009
Best Week Ever draws our attention to this clip from an interview with Brad Pitt in August, 2009. Maher tries to describe a certain "likability" by the American public, and ends up predicting America's response to Charlie Sheen's "winning" streak.

See Jon Cryer Use His New-Found Free Time Working as Ellen's Receptionist
Isn't it nice to know that Jon Cryer can make fun of the shitty situation he's stuck in? He's slated to appear on this afternoon's episode of Ellen—where we hope he'll let his opinions fly—but for now, enjoy.

Late Night Goes Guido with Jersey Floor
Another gem from Late Night's 2-year anniversary show starred the regulars, Abby Elliott, Rachel Dratch as Snooki Droochie, and Josh Myers (Seth Myers' lovable brother.) Let's see what happens when the crew steps in the elevator and selects "Jersey Floor."

Matt Damon on His Future in Politics: "No, I Inhaled!"
You have to love the little revelations that can come out of an innocent press junket. The Adjustment Bureau opens Friday, and this preview features Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, and John Slattery discussing their film's "Fate vs. Free Will" conundrum.

Watch Brian Williams Slow-Jam the News with Jimmy Fallon
Believe it or not, tonight marks the second anniversary of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! To celebrate, Fallon invited Nightly News anchor—and all-time Gawker.TV favorite—Brian Williams out to slow-jam the news with him.

Watch Kathie Lee and Hoda Get Down to Beyoncé's "Get Me Bodied"
The thing about a train-wreck is that you just can't help but watch it happen. In that spirit, here's KLG and Hoda breaking it down to Beyoncé's dance moves the "tick fight," "pose for the camera" and "pat your weave."

Chelsea Handler Hates On Conan O'Brien's "Fire Crotch"
On Conan, Chelsea Handler discussed her contempt for red heads. The conversation quickly turned into a rant about having sex with guys with fire crotches. Awkward!

This Week's ANTM Gets a Double Dose of Sad
Come one, come all, for a great Tyrade is about to commence. On this week's ANTM, emotions and tensions run high as chicken dinners are screeched over and demons from the past are confronted.

Former 16 and Pregnant Star: MTV "Made My Family Look Trashy"
Today Good Morning America interviewed Whitney Purvis who did an episode of 16 And Pregnant. She confirms some of the rumors, saying the show creates conflict as well as glamorizing the lives of teen moms.

Nick Offerman and Jimmy Kimmel Look at "Cats That Look Like Ron Swanson"
Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) dropped in on Jimmy Kimmel Live sans-stache and talked about his father, his time spent as an Altar Boy growing up, and of course—the website Cats That Look Like Ron Swanson.

Survivor: Redemption Island: Russell's Razor
Over the last couple years we've become ardent believers in the concept of "Occam's Razor," the tenet that the "simplest explanation is most likely the correct one."

Hear LaToya Jackson Epically Diss Celebrity Apprentice Castmate Star Jones
This season of Celebrity Apprentice is already shaping up to be a doozy! Here, LaToya Jackson tells Wendy Williams that she "got along with Star Jones as well as the people on The View got along with Star." Very catty!