Did you have a busy week with no time to sit back and watch the ol' boob tube? Relax, we've got you covered. Here's a smattering of the week's best TV moments.

Lindsay Lohan, Scarlett Johansson and Other Hollywood Babes Star in "Hottie Body Hump Club"
This video comes from Jimmy Kimmel's post-Oscar special. "Jimmy K" owns a gym that promises to get you fit by, err, humping. Cameos include: Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Emily Blunt, Jessical Biel, Kelly Ripa, and more!

Watch Brian Williams Slow-Jam the News with Jimmy Fallon
Believe it or not, tonight marks the second anniversary of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! To celebrate, Fallon invited Nightly News anchor—and all-time Gawker.TV favorite—Brian Williams out to slow-jam the news with him.

Watch Kathie Lee and Hoda Get Down to Beyoncé's "Get Me Bodied"
The thing about a train-wreck is that you just can't help but watch it happen. In that spirit, here's KLG and Hoda breaking it down to Beyoncé's dance moves the "tick fight," "pose for the camera" and "pat your weave."

Watch Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon's Ice Cream Battle Royale
On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert lamented the fact that Ben & Jerry's gave Jimmy Fallon his own ice cream flavor, ending Colbert's late-night talk show host exclusivity. So, he declared war—and Fallon showed up. Jon Stewart, too!

Hear Bill Maher's Prophetic Words About Charlie Sheen From 2009
Best Week Ever draws our attention to this clip from an interview with Brad Pitt in August, 2009. Maher tries to describe a certain "likability" by the American public, and ends up predicting America's response to Charlie Sheen's "winning" streak.

Jon Stewart Exposes Fox's Hypocritical Attitudes Towards Teachers
You know how the GOP—and Fox News pundits, especially—is arguing that teachers in Wisconsin are overpaid/need to make concessions? What did those same people think/say about corrupt Wall Street bankers? Tonight, Jon Stewart gave us an answer.

We're just getting started... many more of the week's hottest stories, after the jump!

Tom Hanks Has a Daughter With a Secret Pageant Life on Toddlers and Tiaras
Here's fake Toddlers and Tiaras footage of Tom Hanks and his daughter Sophie perusing her dream as a Pageant Girl in the "Miss Ultimate Sexy Baby Contest." Who knew Jimmy Kimmel Live would prove to be so entertaining today?

Portlandia's First Season Finishes Strong
Portlandia concluded its freshman season this weekend with a little help from some famous friends Heather Graham, Kyle MacLachlan, Nick Kroll. We met a few new characters and watched Fred and Carrie start a national baseball team: The Portland Thinkers.

Jimmy Kimmel Tells Bill Maher About the Time Arianna Huffington Pinched His Butt
Back in the days when Jimmy Kimmel was a mere sidekick on Win Ben Stein's Money, the host had an awkward encounter with Arianna Huffington. Last night, he told Bill Maher about the time she flirtatiously pinched his behind.

Late Night Goes Guido with Jersey Floor
Another gem from Late Night's 2-year anniversary show starred the regulars, Abby Elliott, Rachel Dratch as Snooki Droochie, and Josh Myers (Seth Myers' lovable brother.) Let's see what happens when the crew steps in the elevator and selects "Jersey Floor."

Matt Damon on His Future in Politics: "No, I Inhaled!"
You have to love the little revelations that can come out of an innocent press junket. The Adjustment Bureau opens Friday, and this preview features Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, and John Slattery discussing their film's "Fate vs. Free Will" conundrum.

The Soup Presents Updates on Jesse James, Birdemic, "Butt-chugging" and Charlie Sheen
This week's Soup was full of win: poking fun at Charlie Sheen, Jesse James' new book, a staff-wide parody of an epic scene from Birdemic, and an NBC "The More You Know" moment about butt-chugging from Law & Order: SVU.

Stephen Colbert Gives a Wag of the Finger to Levi's Snug-Fitting "Ex-Girlfriend Jeans"
Stephen took some time to talk about Levi's new extra slim-fitting jeans for men. They're "super-snug all over" and "spray-on fit." As he put it, "there were baggier pants on the dudes in Black Swan."

Despite Looking Like a Hobo, Robin Williams Delights on the Late Show
Robin Williams came out of the wild and appeared on the Late Show last night. When asked about Charlie Sheen, he said "As an alcoholic, me giving advice to Charlie Sheen—it's like a leper giving a facial."

Candace Cameron Can't Escape Her Full House Past in Access Hollywood Interview
When Candace Cameron appeared on Access Hollywood Live to talk about her book, all Billy and Kit wanted to talk about was Full House. Do her kids watch the show? (Yes.) Didn't Uncle Joey introduce her to her husband? (Yes.)

In Case You Missed It: Paul Rudd, Eva Mendez and Rosario Dawson Grope Each Others Naughty Parts
Well, this was certainly one of the more interesting moments from Saturday's Independent Spirit Awards: while reading off a list of nominees, Paul Rudd grabbed Eva Mendez' boob and when the cameras came back, Rosario Dawson was holding Rudd's junk.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone Discuss "Sheening" Their Balls Off with Letterman
Last night Dave welcomed the creators of South Park as they promote their Broadway Show The Book of Mormon that eventually turned into the constant use of "Sheening" as a reference for drug use.

Donald Trump Will Fix This Country Once He Is President
On Regis and Kelly this morning, The Donald discussed the serious possibility of running for President in order to "fix this great country" of ours. And what better way to garner votes than by using scare tactics?

Mike Tyson and George W. Bush Star in "Tyler Perry's The President's Speech"
In an alternate universe, viewers all across the world saw something very different from Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush's dramatic portrayal a King and his speech therapist: Tyler Perry's The President's Speech, starring Mike Tyson and the actual George W.

B.J. Novak Recalls Meeting Michael Jackson
The man who plays The Office's Ryan showed up on the Late Show last night and regaled us with stories about his start as a stand-up comic, his father's ghostwriting career, and ...a dinner with Michael Jackson?

Archer: Do You Not?
This week on Archer, trusty accountant Cyril (who is voiced by Chris Parnell, in case you forgot) goes sells out ISIS for a measly $50,000 dollars. As a result, we're given a few flashbacks into Cyril's sad past.

Kourtney Kardashian Does the Dirty in a Public Bathroom
On this week's Kourtney and Kim Take New York, Kourtney starts a risky habit of getting it on with Scott in public bathrooms. The habit abruptly ends when someone walks in on the pair in the Glamour office bathrooms.

Isla Fisher Talks About Being Married to Borat and the Spiders that Lived in Her Hair
Suddenly, Isla Fisher's marriage to Sascha Baron Cohen makes so much sense. In her Late Night interview, she talked about what her husband tells her about his workday—and when a spider lived in her hair for a week.

Aasif Mandvi Contemplates Batman's Muslim Sidekick on The Daily Show
Batman's new sidekick—Nightrunner—happens to be a Muslim, and some folks are unhappy. What if he becomes a jihadist? But, Daily Show correspondant Aasif Mandvi has more of a problem with Nightrunner's lame powers ...specifically parkour.

Josh Radnor Shows Off His Juggling Skills on Late Night
At one point in his life, Josh Radnor held the record for "Fastest Beer Chug While Juggling." Obviously, this led to Jimmy passing him random objects from his desk for Josh to juggle. Despite being "irregular," he did a pretty good job!

See Jon Cryer Use His New-Found Free Time Working as Ellen's Receptionist
Isn't it nice to know that Jon Cryer can make fun of the shitty situation he's stuck in? He's slated to appear on this afternoon's episode of Ellen—where we hope he'll let his opinions fly—but for now, enjoy.

Chelsea Handler Hates On Conan O'Brien's "Fire Crotch"
On Conan, Chelsea Handler discussed her contempt for red heads. The conversation quickly turned into a rant about having sex with guys with fire crotches. Awkward!

Nick Offerman and Jimmy Kimmel Look at "Cats That Look Like Ron Swanson"
Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) dropped in on Jimmy Kimmel Live sans-stache and talked about his father, his time spent as an Altar Boy growing up, and of course—the website Cats That Look Like Ron Swanson.