David Arquette Survives Head-On Crash as TMZ Live-blogs It

  • David Arquette was involved in a head-on collision in LA and suffered a minor injured. Thank god someone was there with a cellphone camera to capture him sprawled on the ground seconds after the crash, then immediately send the picture to TMZ. "David is lying on the ground right now—bleeding" wrote TMZ. You can always count on good samaritans. Anyway, Arquette later tweeted "I'm fine," so we don't have to have a national convulsion over the fact that millions of people gawked at his tragedy while eating their Chipotle on lunch break. (PS: WEAR YOUR SEATBELT.) [TMZ, TMZ]

  • So it looks like Charlie Sheen is not technically tweeting from his world-record-holding Twitter account. Instead, he calls up his "tweet master"—some guy named Bob Maron—who then types the words into a computer. "He doesn't actually do the tweets himself… he calls this person on the traditional cell phone, or the house phone when I was there, and says the message that he wants out." Are cell phones and landlines enabling Charlies Sheen's breakdown? [Radar]
  • In other Charlie Sheen news, porn star Bree Olson has left Charlie Sheen. She is now a Goddess-in-exile, and Charlie Sheen is de facto monogamous. [Radar]
  • And Sean Penn has responded to Charlie Sheen's (rather unbelievable) claim that he was going down to Haiti on a humanitarian mission: "I think his energies, intelligence and passion could be both of service and servicing to him, as it is to all who are touched by the struggle of the Haitian people." Heh. "Servicing." [E! Online]
  • Looks like an ex-girlfriend leaked naked sext pictures of Chris Brown. Just in time for the release of his new CD later this month… Of course, he is standing in a mirror taking a picture of himself with an iPhone. This pose is the Senior Portrait of our time. [NYDN]
  • Are Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson "getting serious?" They were spotted playing footsie in Mexico, and now ScarJo is apparently "head over heels." "He's exactly the kind of guy she wants," a friend told Popeater. "She talks to him every day and can't wait until she has a break in film so she can run away with him." But he's sooooo old! [Popeater]
  • Lindsay Lohan will not go back to prison. Her lawyer is negotiating a plea deal which will probably send her back to jail, but Lindsay's saying "if there is ANY jail time involved, she wants no part of it," acceding to TMZ. [TMZ]
  • Jesse James' ex Michelle 'Bombshell' McGee is now dating a heavily-tattooed motocross rider named Luke Urek who she met at the Melbourne Sexpo. Sounds about right. [Daily Mail]
  • Former Baywatch star Jeremy Jackson is entering "Celebrity Rehab" for his addiction to fitness and injecting himself with hormones. He originally got into fitness to kick his meth addiction. You just can't win. [TMZ]