What does it take to be the happiest man in America? "Friendship," you might say. "Trust." Ha!. The real secret to happiness being a tall, married, business-owning Asian-American Jewish man living in Hawaii. Like Alvin Wong!

You see, Gallup has been conducting a three-year well-being survey by calling 1,000 randomly-selected Americans every day and asking them questions about their quality of life. They created a statistical composite of traits most correlated with happiness for The New York Times, and came up with:

  • Male
  • Tall
  • Asian-American
  • Observant Jew
  • Living in Hawaii
  • Married
  • Has kids
  • Over 65
  • Owns his own business, and
  • Makes more than $120,000 a year

Which describes Alan Wong almost perfectly! America, your happiest man:

Reached by phone at his home on Friday (and referred to The Times by a local synagogue), Mr. Wong said that he was indeed a very happy person. He said that perhaps he manages to be the happiest man in America because "my life philosophy is, if you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to be pretty terrible for you."

He continued: "This is a practical joke, right?"