Young Music Artist Gwyneth Paltrow About to Sign Her First Record Contract

A young upstart named Gwyneth Paltrow is now embarking on a great adventure, specifically conquering the music industry. Also today: Justin Bieber's tweets grow up so fast, there are naked pictures of Britney Spears that exist somewhere, and Kate Middleton picks a dress designer!

  • Well, isn't this nice for the world's most perfect person? Celebrity sun-wisp Gwyneth Paltrow is apparently close to signing a deal with Atlantic Records, meaning she will be making a singing album of her very own, that we can listen to while we make homemade molecule-free bread in our outdoor pizza ovens in our London triple-gardens. Apparently the sound of the music might be "country pop," which makes complete sense for someone like Gwyneth Paltrow, who is nothing if not country. Obviously the ideal genre for Ms. Paltrow would be her breathily reciting recipes for diamond-encrusted, cookie-free macaroons over the sounds of ice swirling in a glass, a harp strumming, and blood curdling screams, but she wants to take some risks. Think outside the box. So good for her. [P6]
  • Oh my mounties. Canadian pop star Justin Bieber caused quite a commotion on Twitter this weekend. First he tweeted "im not shaving for a month so you all can see my mustache.. im pumped." Justin Bieber, with a mustache?? It's unbelievable! Then, moving onto his beard, he tweeted at Selena Gomez "I miss you." For all the world to see! Just like that. By this time next year he'll probably be married with a full-on mustache. Maybe 18 months. Hard to say how long it will take him to grow the thing. But he's definitely going to marry S. Gomez, so prepare yourselves for that. [Us]
  • Blushing bride to be Kate Middleton, soon to be High Priestess of the Land of Angles, has apparently settled on a designer for her wedding gown. She'll go with Sarah Burton from Alexander McQueen, and will incorporate her own style ideas with Burton's "quirky interpretation of high fashion." Oh please oh please oh please let "quirky adaptation of high fashion" mean clear panels and live birds and LED light strips and stuff. Or, y'know, like an Emperor's New Clothes type thing, where Middleton parades into the Abbey (is that where the wedding will be?) wearing nothing but her birthday suit while Harry stands on the sidelines and snickers. Harry would be naked too, in this scenario. In most scenarios devised by me, Harry is naked. [Us]
  • Poor Al Pacino. The aged grizzle-creature has had a tax lien filed against him by the IRS, which claims he owes some $188,000 in back taxes. Reached for comment, Pacino said "Hraaaghh!! Yahhhrrr!! Fuckin. Bees!!! Everywhere, bees!!! Fnarrrrrhhhh." [TMZ]
  • Do Cameron Diaz and Jude Law have a thing for each other?? Some people think so! They were spotted being flirty at the Vanity Fair Oscars party and then recently were seen having dinner with friends at Soho House. A work party and a group dinner?? A mustache and Twitter love letters are sure to follow! [P6]
  • Troubled Disney orphan Demi Lovato has emerged from the "treatment center" she checked into this fall after punching a backup dancer in the face while on an airplane. She's been seen out and and about and has now issued a video message to her many fans, saying that she's cool, calm, and collected, and that she wants to help other girls with her condition. Not sure what the condition is exactly, but I have been reading lots of newspaper articles about teens across the country punching backup dancers on private planes, so she's right. Something has to be done. [TMZ]
  • Good. Britney Spears' former bodyguard, the one suing her for sexual harassment, claims he has nude photos of the former singer (I mean, really) that she sent via cellphone. He says: "They are really explicit images that will likely shock and disgust the majority of her fans." So, what? Is she wearing jeans and a sweatshirt and glasses and reading a book? Are they pictures from her first day of classes at UCLA Extension school? I mean, what shocks and disgusts Britney Spears fans these days? It's hard to keep up. [Radar]
  • Celebrity odd couple (not in that they're mismatched, in that they're both very odd) Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon had a baby shower for their upcoming twins this weekend. It was a modest affair, in which the guests sipped champagne and Mariah received "two almost life-size stuffed giraffes." So, not that modest or normal, actually. Meanwhile, the almost life-size King Bowser stuffed animal turned out to actually be party guest Randy Jackson. [People]

[Photo via Getty]