Alec Baldwin's Helpful Advice to Charlie Sheen: 'You Can't Win'

Alec Baldwin has penned a long column for the Huffington Post about what Charlie Sheen should do instead of filing his crazy $100 million lawsuit against Warner Brothers.

Hint: It does not involve live webcasts or Twitter. All aboard Straight Talk Airlines:

You can't win. Really. You can't. When executives at studios and networks move up to the highest ranks, they are given a book. The book is called How to Handle Actors. And one principle held dear in that book is that no actor is greater than the show itself when the show is a hit. And, in that regard, they are often right. Add to that the fact that the actor who is torturing their diseased egos is a drug-addled, porn star-squiring, near-Joycean Internet ranter, and they really want you to go.

Granted, it didn't get real until you insulted them. And your suit may have real grounds.

But you know what you should do? Take a nap. Get a shower. Call Chuck. Go on Letterman and make an apology. Write a huge check to the B'Nai Brith. And then beg for your job back. Your fans demand it. You will never win because when you are as big a douchebag as some of these guys are, they have no choice but to snuff you

Yowch. That is never going to happen, but it's a nice idea nonetheless.

[Image via Getty]