Last night's Skins was centered on Tina, River Mountain High School's resident sociology teacher. Unlike the other adults that surround the teenagers, Tina isn't a total L7. She talks with the kids about dating, doesn't freak out when they do drugs and even has sex with one of them. In sum, she's a great teacher, responsible person and there's hardly anything bad that we can say about her.

[There was a video here]

Tina's one downfall (if you can call it that) is that she suffers from a rare disorder called "Baby Brain," which is to say that she has the literal brain of a baby. It's tiny, free of wrinkles and floats around freely in her skull. One symptom of Baby Brain is that Tina is completely unable to function in an adult world- she's failing at her job, can't make grown-up friends and has to wear a diaper constantly. Because of this, she finds herself falling in with the Skins gang whose grunted sentences and primal urges are so much easier for her to understand than the complex needs of the over-18 set. In particular, she relates to Chris because a.) he's the approximate shape and size of a baby and b.) he's constantly touching himself. Tina and Chris have been sexing on the reg for some time now and word has gotten out to the rest of the school, thanks to Abbud who regularly spies on them as they bone in his tree house. Though she tried to bribe him into keeping quiet by promising to give him an A in her class (O Captain! My Captain!), he manages to spill the beans anyway.

In what is perhaps the first step to recovery from her terrible bout of Baby Brain ("This is one of the worst cases I've ever seen," said the doctor when she was first diagnosed), Tina decides to end it with Chris and try dating adults. She has two prospects. One is her handsome neighbor from across the hall who flirts by joking about date raping her in a dark parking lot (to be fair, she was the one who brought it up) and the other is the school physics teacher who is a total lame-o (he tucks his shirt into his raw denim jeans AND likes science).

Tina ends up getting a date with her neighbor, but then blows it when she tries to have sex with him in a strip mall parking lot. He says that fucking in public is too "high school" and that she should probably grow up. Dejected, Tina slinks home, only to find that Chris has thrown her a surprise birthday party (did I mention that it's Tina's birthday? It's Tina's birthday) at which all of the guests are high schoolers. The party is depressing and her apartment gets trashed, but she ends up having sex with Chris anyway (who can resist the comforting raw sexuality of a tiny-nippled 17 year-old in the best of times, let alone the worst?). Unfortunately, the nerdy physics teacher ends up coming by to take her on a surprise date and catches the two in the throes of their very sexy and appropriate lovemaking.

The physics teacher ends up turning Tina into the police and she is arrested for statutory rape and child molestation. We're supposed to feel bad for her, but we shouldn't. It's not okay for an adult to sleep with an underage person even if that adult is a sexy female teacher and the underage person is a horny teenage boy. It's still pedophilia no matter how hot MTV tries (and fails) to make it. Unfortunately, Tina doesn't stay in jail for long. In what's supposed to be an act of maturity, Chris and his friends deny that any of it ever happened and she is set free.

Rather than gratefully run back to Chris' weak arms, Tina decides to move in with her parents in Nebraska. Though the decision breaks both her and Chris' hearts (like they have hearts), she knows it's best, especially after her doctor told her that she's slowly making progress and phasing into Toddler Brain. There are trying times ahead (the Terrible Twos are so awful) and it's best she remain close to her mom and dad (her mom knows the lullabies that best calm her and her father has always been the only one who could get her to eat solid foods).