This is Big Splash, a red Tibetan mastiff who was just sold for 10 million yuan—$1.5 million—to a "multi-millionaire coal baron" in China. That may seem like a lot of money to you, but did you know that Big Splash is actually 70 feet tall, made of clay, and will grant you a wish if you answer three riddles?

Ha, no, actually, Big Splash is just a regular goddamn dog who is unfortunately trapped inside a "red Tibetan mastiff bubble" (note: Not a literal bubble):

More recently, however, they have become highly-prized status symbols for China's new rich. The dogs are thought to be a pure "Chinese" breed and they are rarely found outside Tibet, giving them an exclusivity that other breeds cannot match.

Accordingly, prices have risen from around 5,000 yuan a puppy five years ago to the hundreds of thousands and even millions.

If you're looking to impress Chinese millionaires, you may want to rent Big Splash out for a round of dog sex—his breeder estimates that Big Splash's services as a stud could go for 10,000 yuan ($1,500) "a shot." Just be aware of his dietary needs:

Mr Lu said Big Splash had been fed a diet of chicken and beef, spiced up with exotic Chinese delicacies such as sea cucumber and abalone.

As we speak, The Daily is flying a reporter to China.