Middle Schoolers Suspended for Trafficking Oregano

Four Virginian middle schoolers have been suspended and face possible expulsion from their school after passing around a plastic bag of oregano during lunch break. Maybe it was pizza day, and they thought the cafeteria food was underseasoned?

Accused oregano passer Adam Grass (obligatory "heh") is fighting his case with the help of father Patrick Grass (obligatory "snaffle") and a local legal institute, so expect the story to ignite a tough on crime vs. civil liberties vs. kids these days debate on Fox News in 5... 4... oh look, they're ahead of schedule.

No word whether these tragic children knew they were trafficking Italian herbs, or actually thought they'd scored some bud, in which case they must be so bummed in so many ways right now. [Virginian-Pilot, Fox News, image via Shutterstock.com]