Tabloid Trying Desperately to Make This Decade-Old Teacher Sex Scandal Work

The New York Post has five(!) total bylines on today's story about the very latest Hot Sexxxy Teacher Sexxx Scandal here in New York. What salacious details has all that reporting power turned up?

1. Joseph Appel, a 33 year old teacher at Xavieran HS in Brooklyn (pictured), "has been fired for alleged 'inappropriate' conduct" with a male student.

2. Ten years ago. Yeah. It happened ten years ago, this incident.

3. The hot sexxxy rumors making the rounds at school? "'They told us he did something inappropriate with a student 10 years ago,' said a student."

4. Last year the school's baseball coach was fined for "promoting gambling."

Five fucking bylines, for this? Where are the quotes from the janitor who walked in on the two in the throes of passion? Where is the Facebook group gleefully recounting totally unverified versions of the hot sexxx? Where is the supposedly innocent explanation that makes the whole thing sound even sexxxier? Where are all the other staff members engaged in sexual harassment of their own?

Hot sexxxy teacher scandals really aren't what they used to be.

[NYP. Photo via]