Another American Idol results show, another Idol hopeful down. Adios, Karen Rodriguez! Of course, the announcement of Karen's fate took a total of 15 seconds, so what did they do with the other 42 minutes of the broadcast?

Well, there was a performance by Black Eyed Peas (remember when Perez Hilton called Will.I.AM a gay slur and they then got into a fist fight?), but, come on, it's the Black Eyed Peas and no one wants to talk about them. Last season's winner Lee Dewyze showed up and performed a song off his new album, which caused me to IMMEDIATELY fall asleep (more like Lee DewyZZZZZe, ammirite?).


Let's talk about the contestants' group number- a terrible mash-up of "Born to Be Wild" (sung by the fellaz) and "Born This Way" (sung by the ladiez) that's sure to have Steppenwolf and Lady Gaga rolling in their shared grave. You'd think a show with a budget as big as American Idol could afford to do a sound check, but apparently not. (I looked into it and all of the money goes to Steven Tyler's hair feathers, which are made only from the rarest, most endangered of birds.) The mics were all over the place, though it's unfair to blame all that awfulness on technology. The contestants did a fine job of slaughtering this performance all on their own. Send them all home, Ryan!

Oh, there's one other thing worth mentioning. At the very beginning of the show, they asked all of the Idol hopefuls what, as children, they wanted to be when they grew up (ha—half of them still are children). It was kind of sad to see what the contestants dreams were before they realized that working sucks and a famous existence is the only existence worth having. What kind of journalist would Jacob Lusk have become (a gospel journalist, probably)? How would Naima have fared as a veterinarian? Scotty McCreery says that he wanted to be an astronaut, but his "brains weren't astronaut material." Poor lame brain Scotty! He might have sailed among the stars, but, alas, he is doomed to a life of singing "Baby, Lock Them Doors" again and again.