As part of our ongoing attempt to help our readers navigate the lonely, terrifying modern world, we offer this advice: If you are arrested for driving while intoxicated, do not bring "a bag full of beer" to your court hearing. This is what Keith Gruber, 49, of Swan Lake, N.Y., did on Monday; the judge at the hearing was not pleased, and threw Gruber in jail without bail. But we may all learn from Gruber's unfortunate experience, and take the following advice:
- Do not bring "a bag full of beer" to your DWI hearing.
- Do not "carry an open can of Busch beer" to your DWI hearing.
- Do not go to your DWI hearing drunk.
- Do not go to your DWI hearing an hour and a half late.
- Do not drive while intoxicated.