Los Angeles Overrun by Assisted Masturbation ParlorsS

Thanks to a loophole in city laws courtesy of attorneys who were, in all likelihood, high, Los Angeles spent the past couple of years as basically one big legal weed spot. But they finally sorted it out. They've moved on to legal rub-n-tug parlors.

"Never worry about unintended consequences as long as they provide with a new method of legal adult entertainment," is apparently the motto of the Los Angeles city government. The city of dreams! While the medical marijuana dispensary menace was being tamed, the city neglected to close a loophole in a state law regarding massage parlors. Hence, according to the LA Times, dozens upon dozens of "massage" parlors are now flourishing in certain L.A. neighborhoods, causing much duress and exasperation for the more upstanding citizens of those locales:

"If you sit on our patio, you can see about 30 to 40 men coming in and out of there," [an Eagle Rock business owner] said. "They stay for 15 to 20 minutes. I've never seen one woman walk in."

Once, he said, he saw a man run out of one of the parlors barefoot, wearing no pants.

"Charlie Sheen joke."

[LAT. Photo: Flickr]