Manna from tabloid heaven: Lindsay Lohan is going to trial!

Today was the deadline for Lohan to take a plea bargain for the felony grand theft of a $2500 necklace—and, according to TMZ, she isn't taking it. Accordingly, the flaxen-haired kleptomaniac has been assigned a trial judge, the Honorable Judge Stephanie Sautner. Sautner's surprisingly telegenic past includes stints as an NYPD-SVU detective and a legal researcher for People's Court. (And, you know, being a judge for the last couple decades.)

Lohan's first pre-trial hearing is scheduled for April 22. Over-under on how many square inches of cleavage she shows: 15. [TMZ, NYPost, image via Getty]