Here's a full-length trailer for Captain America, Marvel's square-jawed "first Avenger" who fights Nazis, particularly those led by the terrifying Red Skull, a guy with a red skull. But ol' Red Skull is not the most terrifying thing in this movie!

No, from the looks of it the most terrifying entity in this picture is in fact the CGI-ed weirdo that they've made out of Chris Evans. Look at him in the beginning when he's all small and wimpy! He looks like, well... Well, he looks like one of the Nazis' victims, to be honest. It's really unsettling. I know Captain America is supposed to be this unassuming but eager nerd before he volunteers for a special science program (orchestrated in part by Iron Man's dad) that turns him into a patriotic beefcake, but this is just ridiculous! I want to wrap him in a blanket and give him vitamin C and see if I can't help find his family. It's upsetting. And then when he gets all muscly? Eyuughh! He looks like a bloated tick. We can't win with this guy! Either we're afraid for his life or we're afraid for ours.

That aside, the movie looks kind of fun? Nicely dark-toned and serious seeming. And who doesn't love a good WW2 yarn? People in cool outfits, real-life world-threatening menace swirling all around them, zooming through picturesque European hamlets in sleek cars. Why, aside from the unimaginable horror, it must have been a pretty sexy, thrilling time to be alive! Thanks, Captain America.