Goldman Sachs Orders Employees Not to Leave Japan's Irradiated Hellscape

Some Americans living in Japan are sort of worried right now, on account of all the deadly cancer-dust everywhere. Some of them are even leaving for a while, just to be on the safe side. Not Goldman Sachs employees, though.

When staffers in Goldman's Tokyo offices asked for permission to work from a non-radioactive country until the safety issues were all worked out, the response was SHUT THE FUCK UP AND KEEP MAKING MONEY YOU PUSSIES.

Employees at the investment bank's Japan offices are worried about radiation levels affecting their families, the person said. Many were asking if they could temporarily relocate out of the country or perhaps move to a location in southern Japan, farther away from troubled nuclear power plants. The were told that they should not leave Tokyo, according to the person.... "The message was clear: no one is to leave. If you do leave, you can't come back and expect to still work for Goldman," the person said.

Honestly, if you value the health of yourself and your family over money, you probably shouldn't be working at Goldman Sachs in the first place. Lloyd Blankfein would go directly into the reactor core like Spock at the end of Wrath of Khan if he thought the margins looked good enough.

[Photo via Getty Images.]