JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon, the princess of Wall Street, is venting again about the ignorant public and regulators whose "misconceptions" are blocking them from seeing the glory and perfection that comes with a fully unregulated financial services sector.
It sure is tough being Jamie Dimon these days. Earlier this year, if you'll remember, he complained to his rich buddies at Davos about the "unproductive and unfair" rap that bankers get in society, all because of one teensy lil' total global economic collapse that bankers caused. And yesterday Dimon met with more of his rich buddies, this time at the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, for another bitching session. He's concerned that the extremely thin glaze of financial regulation that Congress enacted on the sector last year — two years after certain unmonitored bank practices destroyed all hope and money on Earth maybe permanently — will be the ruin of civilization.
First of all, new capital requirements. Even though the biggest banks should be able to find their way through these porous standards without breaking much of a sweat, they're still, uh, going to destroying banking in America.
Too large a disparity in capital requirements between Europe and the US would mean "you're pretty much putting the nail in our coffin for big American banks," he said.
Urging regulators to make a quick decision, he said the uncertainty meant banks were already restricting their lending, nervous of the "anger and the shrillness – and Switzerland says it's got to be 19 percent and people in the UK say it's got to be 15 percent."
"If you think that's helping growth, it's not," Mr. Dimon said, adding that a 7 percent capital ratio would be adequate.
And then there's derivatives. If any regulators even try to step foot within 1,000 miles of derivatives markets, then it's all over, folks: "Mr. Dimon said rules requiring companies to put up collateral as they trade derivatives would 'damage America.'"
And on an additional note of sarcasm: "The system would be safer if we also went back to horse and buggies... Derivatives didn't cause these problems."
Lastly, more threats of destruction: "We don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater... This is still the best system in the world… Let's not destroy that."
Yes sir, Mr. Dimon, sir.
[Image via AP]