Cindy Adams Would Like to Give You a Lesson on Fashion

Pants are too droopy, no one dresses up anymore, boys are dressed like girls, girls are dressed with boys. No, these aren't the latest posts on the Things Old People Like To Complain About Tumblr page. They're the complaints gossip dowager Cindy Adams included in a screed about Manhattan street style today:

Both sexes now dress similarly. You can't tell them apart. Take the long hair. Not on the girls. On the guys. I said to a lady at a coffee-shop counter: "It's terrible how boys look like girls these days." "That's my son," she said, pointing to the girl I was pointing at. I said: "Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were the mother." She snapped indignantly: "I'm not. I'm the father."

Everything has gone far too far. Females only tart up with accessories. Massive buckles on belts the width of that Egyptian cobra. Huge shoulder tote bags that smack into you on the street. Giant orthopedic 6-inch-high platform stilts on their feet. Low heels are only for dating a short fat bald millionaire. Everything in between is micro mini.

First of all, Cindy, you went out wearing these outfits to places you knew there would be cameras, so you're not really one to talk, are you? And do you really want to be this obvious, Cindy? Do you want to be the millionth old person to complain about baggy pants while dropping outdated fashion references like Gloria Vanderbilt? No one under 40 knows her as a designer. Her only claim to fame these days is that she's Anderson Cooper's mom!

[NYP, images via Getty]