Rescued after three weeks afloat a mile and a half from the coast of Kesennuma in northern Japan, an extremely cute dog named Ban has been reunited with his owner.
A six-step guide to my ambivalent reaction to Ban's story:
- 1. Kneejerk: Awwww.
- 2. Self-abnegating: This is not as important as a human! Japan still has 18,000 people missing and now presumed dead! Give money to women's shelters, not animal shelters, and give a damn about 18,000 people, not a dog named Ban!
- 3. Helpless: Awwww.
- 4. Self-justifying: Human welfare and Ban welfare are not mutually exclusive.
- 5. Self-defensive: There is very little good news coming out of Japan right now, so shut the fuck up and let me have this one floppy-eared snuggle-puff of joy, OK?!
- 6. Conclusion: Awwww.