Beck to Quit His Fox News ShowS

Emotionally unstable television host Glenn Beck is pulling a Palin and quitting his Fox News Channel show later this year, according to a cryptic and confusing press release published on his web site, The Blaze. (The site is down right now, apparently from all the "Beck is quitting" traffic, but the Google cache is still there.)

Because Beck's mind is a vibrating knowledge-missile launched by Christ, the release makes no sense to mortals:

Fox News and Mercury Radio Arts, Glenn Beck's production company, are proud to announce that they will work together to develop and produce a variety of television projects for air on the Fox News Channel as well as content for other platforms including Fox News' digital properties. Glenn intends to transition off of his daily program, the third highest rated in all of cable news, later this year.

Huh? Someone needs to print it out, take a rubbing against the base of the Washington Monument, hold it up to the sun at 2:46 p.m., and divide all the numbers by 3 so we can figure out what it really means. But taking it at face value: Beck is committing to produce shows and digital projects for Fox News, and hiring away Fox executive Joel Cheatwood to help him do it and serve as his "liaison" to Fox, and these shows and digital projects are so important that Beck won't have time to do the apocalyptic television show that Fox hired him to do in the first place.

[Photo via Getty Images]