The Grammys Slim Down

The bloated music industry love-in known as the Grammys has decided to cut the number of prizes it awards. Instead of handing out 109 trophies at next year's show, just 78 will be given out. That's a good way to start trimming the fat, but they didn't go far enough.

Last year the R&B category had eight awards and it was divided between male and female vocalists. Now the boys and the girls have to duke it out against each other, which is perfect because now Beyoncé can win every single one of them. There will be just four awards next year: best album, best song, best R&B performance, and best traditional R&B performance. What is up with this "performance" nonsense? Doesn't the performance have to be in a, you know, song or on a, um, album? Why not just have best song and best album and call it a day? The fewer awards the more they mean (and the more time for Lady Gaga to come out of an egg on our television).

Other categories that are shrinking include classical and American roots, which lost four trophies, and the pop, rock, country, and Latin genres which all got trimmed by three awards. Some categories were combined and some were eliminated all together, like best pop instrumental performance, best Hawaiian music album, best Native American music album, and best rock or rap gospel album. Sorry, Kenny G, Don Ho, Mary Youngblood, and Petra: Guess your annual winning streaks are officially over.

Most importantly, they set up a system in which categories can be eliminated after three years if the category gets fewer than 25 submissions. So unless we see a dramatic uptick in the number of polka albums, your annual star-studded telecast is about to get a lot shorter. Thank God!

[Image via AP]