75-year-old Georgian woman Hayastan Shakarian did not cut off all of Armenia's Internet out of some intense luddite impulse. She's never even heard of the Internet!
Shakarian made headlines worldwide when the Georgian government accused her of damaging a fiber optic cable that connected Georgia to Armenia while scavenging for scrap metal. This cut off 90 percent of Armenians from the Internet for more than 12 hours.
But Shakrian maintained her innocence in an interview with the AFP:
"I did not cut this cable. Physically, I could not do it," she said, repeatedly bursting into tears as she spoke.
Shakarian, who lives in the poverty-stricken Georgian village of Armazi, around 15 kilometres (10 miles) from the capital Tbilisi, said that she had only been collecting firewood.
"I have no idea what the Internet is," she added.
(The Georgian government said she's already copped to cutting the cable.)
That's sad. The government shouldn't punish this poor old woman for keeping a bunch of Armenians from playing World of Warcraft or whatever for a night. Maybe Shakarian can immigrate to the U.S. and sell her services as a pricey consultant for yuppies who want to "unplug."