Scientologists Touch-Heal Japanese Tsunami Victims

Good news from the misguided cult members who delivered Travolta-endorsed junk science to a quake-ravaged Haiti: Scientology "volunteer ministers" are in Japan, touch-healing homeless tsunami victims, according to a celebratory press release issued today.

Since the disaster struck, the Scientology Volunteer Ministers Japan Disaster Response Team has helped more than 48,000 displaced persons in dozens of shelters distributing food, water and supplies and providing Scientology assists. Assists, often described as "spiritual first aid," help the individual overcome the effects of loss, shock and trauma and speed recovery by addressing the spiritual and emotional factors in illness and injury.

That's right, anti-medicine zealots have unnecessarily groped 48,000 homeless tsunami victims so far. And John Travolta isn't even there this time! Faced with the incomparable irrelevance of Scientology touchy-feelies, one Japanese figurehead resorted to passive-aggressive gratefulness:

A Hashikami City Councillor thanked the Volunteer Ministers, saying theirs is a service the Japanese people can find nowhere else.

Truly, nowhere else.

That said, the above touch-healing looks like a massage, which might feel nice? Let us not forget that cult activity can be worse: Members of a quasi-Catholic ephebophile sex cult could be descending from the mountains, pushing yogurt-smeared copulation upon the vulnerable masses. Just don't rape, traffic, or enslave anyone, OK, Scientology? [VolunteerMinisters.org, MinnPost]

Previously:

John Travolta to Airlift Desperately Needed E-Meters to People of Haiti
Travolta's Second Scientology Rescue Force Arrives in Haiti to Touch-Heal a Nation