Death to porcupines! Those cactus-rodent hybrids have tyrannized man since the dawn of time. But one state has finally mustered the courage to stand up to them: Pennsylvania, we salute thee.
Pennsylvania porcupines have enjoyed protected status for the past 30 years, during which time they've mounted a campaign of terror against the good citizens of that state. They are attracted to wood, rubber and salt and "have been known to gnaw on cabin siding, telephone wires, and brake lines." Well, those murderous pests have sent their last SUV careening off a cliff, as the state gaming commission has declared open season on them.
"My main objective is to make it clear that you are allowed to harvest them," said commission member Dave Putnam.
Not everyone is exactly on board with this plan, however. Animal rights activists point out that porcupines — the second-largest rodents in the state, after beavers — have a very low birthrate of about one to three "porcupettes" per season. The director of urban wildlife for the U.S. Humane Society calls the plan "ridiculous...They have done none of the necessary research to determine the extent of the problem."