Arizona's 'Birther Bill' Will Also Accept Penis Certificates

America's festering cauldron of endless misery and abandoned housing tracts, Arizona, is back in the national political news. Don't click away yet! The state is merely trying to ensure that certain biracial Kenyan-Indonesian presidential candidates aren't hiding their shameful biracial Kenyan-Indonesian births when they run for office, okay? So let's take a look at the Donald Trump-endorsed "Arizona Birther Bill," which passed the state Senate yesterday.

The bill, if passed by the House and signed by Gov. Jan Brewer, would require candidates to show their "long-form" birth certificates — like Barack Obama's secret "vault" copy — in order to get on the ballot. But if candidates can't find them, they do have other options. From Politico:

The legislation, a revised version of an earlier bill that would have required each candidate to provide a "long-form" birth certificate, also gives candidates the option of instead providing two of the following documents: an early baptismal or circumcision certificate, a hospital birth record, a postpartum hospital record for the mother or an early census record.

Where's the penis certificate, Obama?

[Image via AP]