Donald Trump Is Running for President of Your Bathroom

On April 6, Donald Trump learned that he had come out of nowhere to tie for second place in the GOP nomination race. The next day, he did what any bona fide contender would: He filed a trademark application for a new Trump-branded line of bath salts.

On April 7, Trump filed to trademark the phrase "SUCCESS BY TRUMP" for use in selling "cologne; perfume; fragrances; after-shave lotions; skin moisturizer; shampoo; conditioner; deodorant; soaps for hand, face, and body; body powder; bath oil; bath gel; bath salts; [and] bubble bath." As part of the application, he certified that he has a "bona fide intention to use the mark in commerce... as of the application date."

So yeah, he's definitely running for president. Everyone knows the only way to punch through the news cycle and get voter attention these days is through a fragrance line.

Politico reports he's assembling a political team as we speak. The New York Times reports NBC executives are counting on him for another season of Celebrity Apprentice. Our bet is you'll be able to rub TRUMP all over your naked body in the shower next November, but you won't be able to vote for him.

Trump's trademark application is below. Click any page to expand.

Donald Trump Is Running for President of Your BathroomS

Donald Trump Is Running for President of Your BathroomS

Donald Trump Is Running for President of Your BathroomS

Donald Trump Is Running for President of Your BathroomS

Donald Trump Is Running for President of Your BathroomS

Donald Trump Is Running for President of Your BathroomS

Donald Trump Is Running for President of Your BathroomS

[Photo of Trump via Getty Images]