What's Opening in Theaters This Weekend

The spring movie onslaught continues! This week we see the debut of Robert Redford's latest soft-focus epic sweeper, Jessie Eisenberg puts on a digital bird suit and heads down to Brazil, and holy nineteen-nineties, Scream is back.

Armadillo

In 2009 a camera crew followed a group of soldiers who were stationed at Camp Armadillo in Afghanistan. They caught lots of shocking footage and put this documentary together. The movie is- Hey. Wait a minute. What's that weird language our boys are speaking? They're what? They're Danish?? What the hell are they doing there? This is our war! Go back to Daneland! Ahem. Excuse me. This movie was hugely popular in Denmark and sparked a national political debate, so it is probably worth seeing. (NY only)

Atlas Shrugged Part 1

This adaptation of the first part of Ayn Rand's lovely little novel about people being kind to one another is apparently quite bad, if Roger Ebert's hilarious review (along with all the other reviews) is to be believed. Too bad! It's such a nice book, full of nice humanistic sentiments, and it deserves a nice movie adaptation. (Limited release)

The Conspirator

Robert Redford's first film since his rabble-rousing dud Lions For Lambs, this courtroom drama tells the story of Mary Surratt, the first woman to be executed by the federal government in the United States. Her crime? Aiding and abetting her son and others in the Lincoln assassination plot. Was she really involved, or just unwitting collateral damaged? The mystery is explored here. But the real mystery is what the heck Justin Long is doing in a period drama! (Wide)

The Double Hour

This Italian thriller, which won a major prize at the Venice Film Festival, tells the story of Torino man who falls in love with a Slovenian immigrant and everything's great until everything is really not great. If you're in the mood for a dreamy Euro psycho-bender that the Times thinks you need to see more than once, then this is the movie for you. (NY & LA)

Dumbstruck

This is a Christopher Guest-style documentary about wacky people, only the wacky people in this one are actually real. Come gawk at the weirdos who attend a Kentucky ventriloquism convention! One of the guys featured won America's Got Talent, which whatever, no big deal right? WRONG. He signed a contract with a Vegas hotel for one hundred million dollars. BRB, going to go learn ventriloquism. (NY)

The First Beautiful Thing

Another Italian film, The First Beautiful Thing is a flashback-heavy, generations-spanning drama about an estranged family reuniting and hopefully reconciling. I like this line from the Times review: "Ms. Pandolfi gives such an exquisitely understated performance that you don't realize until the very end that the film was as much about her character as it was about Bruno and Anna." Makes me think of Lesley Manville in Another Year. Sounds good! (NY)

Fly Away

This drama, about two parents struggling to raise their severely autistic teenage daughter, is, to me, most notable for one thing: The starring-role presence of Aunt Zelda herself, Beth Broderick! If you're not a Sabrina the Teenage Witch fan, you might recognize her as Kate's mom on Lost. So good for her! Oh, and there's an Ally McBeal guy in this too. (NY, LA, DC)

Footprints

A dreamy girl wanders lost around Los Angeles and talks to eccentric characters about showbiz, love, and life. Isn't that basically what everyone in LA is doing? (NY, LA)

The Imperialists Are Still Alive!

A Parisian and a Chilango, both wealthy expats, wander around New York City and do bobo things like go to art shows, ride in limos, and bemoan the nature of the world. Seems kind of annoying! The cherry on that sundae? The title is a line from a Godard film. Yup. (NY)

The Princess of Montpensier

The main reason to see this romantic love-triangle drama, set against the backdrop of the Catholic/Protestant schism in 1500s France, is because Gaspard Ulliel is in it and once you see Gaspard Ulliel you will want nothing more than for him to gaspard your ulliel all night long. Even if you're a straight dude or a gay girl. He's that good. (NY)

Rio

This cheap-looking animated thing is about a rare macaw who never learned how to fly (allegory!) who learns how to fly and really live (see?) down in Rio de Janeiro. Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, Jemaine Clement, Leslie Mann, George Lopez, William (of the Black Eyed Peas), and Tracy Morgan all show up with their hands out, asking for their paychecks. (Wide)

Scream 4

This movie just came out at midnight this morning but I already feel like it's been out for years? I mean, it basically has. Apparently it's a lot gorier than the other three, so I guess that's exciting? I don't know. I feel like major characters might die and that might upset me a little. What do you think? A theater movie or an On Demander? (Wide)