JWOWW's ex says she attacked him with a steak knife and a fireplace poker. Beyonce wears stilettos at a Disney theme park. LeAnn Rimes is happy with her homewrecker marriage. Charlie Sheen gives to charity. It's time for TGIFriday gossip.
- JWOWW's ex-boyfriend Tom Lippolis says she stabbed him with a steak knife in a jealous rage. Screaming that he was an "asshole," she grabbed a "short steak knife" and put it through my entire arm. I thought she was going to kill me," he said. "My wounds resembled something out of one of those surgery TV shows—the muscle was completely cut and it was just hanging out of my skin." He cleaned his wound, and then "Jenni was holding the knife, with blood dripping off of it, in one hand and swinging a fireplace poker at me with the other. I still have a hole in my elbow from where she impaled me with the poker."
Jesus Christ. Apparently their break-up was on the last season of Jersey Shore, because the preamble to vicious domestic violence is how we entertain ourselves, now. [Star via NYDN, Hollywood Life, photos of JWOWW recently and in 2010 with Lippolis via WENN]
- Who wears stilettos with a Goofy hat at a Disney theme park? Beyonce wears stilettos with a Goofy hat at a Disney theme park. She and Jay-Z took their nephew on a sartorially troubling day trip to Euro Disney. [JJ]
- A flaxen-haired cricket named LeAnn Rimes chirps balefully about being a homewrecker: "I know I didn't do it the right way. I didn't have the tools to know how to do it the right way, how to let go the right way. I'd never been taught that." Tools? Maybe she wishes she wore a chastity belt? "[Country music] has such a double standard. You know, Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash and all these guys. God knows what they did back in the day? And if a woman did it, you never were accepted or forgiven." [Us]
- Jane Krakowski gave birth to her baby, a 7-lb 12-oz 19th-century British lord named Bennett Robert Godley. [Us]
- Ethan Hawke is expecting his fourth child, his second with wife Ryan Shawhughes, who was babysitter to the kids Hawke had with Uma Thurman before they hooked up. Mazel tov! [Us]
- Nicolas Cage's son is engaged to be married. All for Nic Cage getting a drunk tattoo to celebrate the momentous occasion, say "Sorcerer's Apprentice." [TMZ]
- Kate Middleton went shopping, and looked really skinny! Time to trot out side-by-side comparisons from her "fuller-faced" days. [DailyMail]
- Speaking of Kate and Wills, you know you're "unpretentious" when the Archbishop of Canterbury says so. [ITNNews]
- An actress you've never heard off is engaged to a reality TV carpenter you've never heard of. OK, fine: Amy Smart and Carter Oosterhouse. See? Told you so. Except you, random single person who lives in a ramshackle apartment and falls asleep every night watching Trading Spaces while drinking white wine and weeping into the cushions of her Ikea sofa, counting how many promotions and raises it will take before "Design Within Reach" is actually in her reach. Most cruelly named store ever. [Us]
- Now Melania Trump wants to see Barack Obama's birth certificate, too. I want proof that Melania is not a synthetic female created in a experimental laboratory at the edge of a silicone plant. [Popeater]
- Tina Fey on Olivia Munn's treatment on our sister site Jezebel, in an interview with GQ: "She just kept getting reamed!" You know those lady bloggers, always reaming Olivia. Penetrating her with their long, hard judgment. Ceaselessly pounding with their big, thick words. Girls, girls, please don't fight! GQ has a perfectly good jell-o wrestling vat, right over here. [GQ]
- Michael Jackson death photos will be used as evidence at Dr. Conrad Murray's trial. Creepy Jacko memorabilia fanatics are already whinnying with desire. [TMZ]
- Bethenny Frankel says she made $120 million from her reality stardom. The Hollywood Reporter is just torturing us with this information, now, right? On the other hand, doesn't Bethenny's figure seem a little high? Though it's a sum total over multiple years, I still have a hard time believing she'd come anywhere near out-earning the entire Kardashian clan. [THR]
- Charlie Sheen donated $6,000 to a Canadian charity for bipolar disorder. In theory, you could draw a conclusion about Charlie's mental health from this, but in practice, it's Charlie Sheen. Who the hell knows what anything means? [NYDN]