The above four studly horsemen of the gossip apocalypse bring you the most-viewed Gawker stories of the past week. Gay kisses, Internet queens, mysterious white substances, Gaga parodies, and the evil reign of Dilbert dominated our network.

Here's what you missed!

5. The Gay Kiss Photo Facebook Doesn't Want You to See: 85,211 views

4. The Perilous Life of a Teen Internet Queen: 86,893 views

3. Vanessa Hudgens Licks Mysterious White Substance from Her Fingertip: 92,179 views

2. Dilbert Creator Pretends to Be His Own Biggest Fan on Message Boards: 163,266 views

1. The Best Parodies of Lady Gaga's New Album Cover: 170,399 views