Lindsay Lohan Spends Five Hours in JailS

Lindsay Lohan goes back to her old digs at Lynwood Correctional Facility. LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian surprise everyone. And the Royal Wedding won't be any fun at all. Welcome to Saturday gossip. No beer allowed.

  • Plump-lipped near-felon Lindsay Lohan spent five hours in jail last night, rising to the top of prison hierarchy with brutal efficiency before posting bond and escaping on a black horse with the other eight Nazgûl. Yesterday, the Georgia Rule star was sentenced to 120 days in jail for violating her probation by stealing a necklace; she'll be back in court May 11 for a pretrial hearing. [TMZ]
  • Handsome adulterers LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian invited their friends and family to an engagement party, and then surprised everyone by getting married. The only thing worse than cheaters is surprises. Pretty sure that's in the Bible, if you check. [People]
  • There will be no beer at the Royal Wedding, so guests will have to get wasted on champagne and jenkem. [Daily Mail]
  • Josh Smith, a young fellow from the television program 16 & Pregnant, has accused the mother of his child, Jennifer Del Rio, of faking her pregnancy. It gets better/worse/different: She (according to young Josh) faked her pregnancy to convince Josh to stop using a condom, so that she would get actually pregnant, and therefore be featured on the 16 & Pregnant program. Even so, by almost any measure the 21st century is a vastly better time to be alive than any previous century. [TMZ]
  • Ape scholar James Franco has been accepted into the University of Houston's doctoral program in literature and creative writing, and will apparently enroll in the fall of 2012. James: We get it. You can stop now. [AP]
  • Former Miss USA Ali Landry is pregnant, again, theoretically thanks to her husband, some director. [NYDN]
  • Our generation's Hamlet, Mel Gibson, was neither violent, nor racist, nor misogynistic when he spent time with Polish pornographic actress Violet Kowal, according to Violet Kowal. [TMZ]

[image via AP]