After the passage of the Zadroga bill, 9/11 first responders will finally be able to receive their much-deserved compensation and health care coverage. But first, the government has to make sure they're not terrorists.

Yes, a patriotic provision in the James Zadroga 9/11 Health And Compensation Law requires that all first responders "must be run through the FBI's terrorism watch list" before they're cleared to receive coverage for treatment. The provision's sponsor, Rep. Cliff Stearns (a, you guessed it, Republican from Florida) told The Huffington Post that he just wants "to ensure that no terrorists get these benefits." This is an issue of pressing national concern, and we're glad. Rep. Stearns has worked hard to garner support for this provision.

Because, yes, this was al Qaeda's plan from the very start: Take down the Twin Towers, rush to Ground Zero to help victims, spend years developing respiratory infections and other ailments while clearing the rubble and rebuilding, and then bleed the government dry with medical bills. (Devious!) And only brave Floridian Cliff Stearns was smart enough to see through their plot. Take that, al Qaeda! No money for your secret first responder/terrorists.