Iran Hit By New Computer Virus

The mysterious Stuxnet worm may have kicked the crap out of Iran's Bushehr nuclear reactor last August. Now, Iranian's commander of civil defense says they have discovered a new virus called "Stars."

Looks like Iran clicked on a file attached to an email offering free penis pills! The discovery of Stars—not to be confused with the Canadian indie rockers of the same name—was announced by Iran's semi-official news agency Mehr, which reported that the virus had been isolated and was being studied for clues about its purpose.

Well, obviously it's "stars" like "stars and stripes" i.e. The Great Satan America. Mystery solved!