Unsinkable Raft Made of Fire Ants Is Floating Out There, Waiting

Super computers! Narcissistic kids! Harvard scandals! Floating ants! Big lasers! Lying Superman! Magic batteries! Anti-helium! And sexxxy peacock pimping secrets! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—bitingly!

  • Supercomputers are altering science. How? Oh... all sorts of ways.
  • Science has finally proven that kids these days are more narcissistic than kids were in your day. Their "music" gave them away! In my day we sang about others.
  • Okay, so Harvard professor Marc Hauser got in a big scandal for supposed scientific misconduct on some studies but now guess what, he replicated the damn studies! Everyone rush to judgment—in the other direction, this time!
  • Not just fire ants—floating fire ants. In a raft made entirely of fire ants. You can't touch any part of it that's not fire ants! Nooooooooooo!
  • The world's most powerful laser is being built in Eastern Europe. If you don't immediately see a problem with this, then you didn't watch enough G.I. Joe.
  • Superman said "I never lie." Lying bastard.
  • In the future, instead of having batteries, everyone will just walk around with these "wearable energy harvesters" that will magically make energy, from wearing them. Um yea great work, imagination scientists.
  • So they've finally found anti-helium, eh? The heaviest antiparticles ever found, you say? Oh really? Are they heavy—or anti-heavy? Keep trying, scientists.
  • Ever wondered what makes a peacock's plumage alluring to the opposite sex? Perv.
[Photo via Kellyv/ Flickr ]