Chuck Norris Plagiarizes Mostly Everything Including Himself

The only reason most people bother purchasing Internet service is to read actor Chuck Norris' insane right wing political columns, which are syndicated on an array of terrible liar websites like World Net Daily and Townhall.com. But now you can just print out what's already been written and cancel that service, because he's probably already published everything that would appear in future columns.

Wonkette has gone through only the most recent Norris columns and still found countless cases of plagiarism from other news articles that are easily accessible through simple Google searches. You could argue, however, that that's how most of the Internet is written nowadays. This is something special though:

But sometimes the martial artist gets so bored writing his political column that he plagiarizes himself. The first half of his February 28 column on communist teachers indoctrinating our children (setting aside the truth of that assertion) appears to be new material. But the second half is lifted entirely from the chapter "Calling All Millenials!" in his 2008 New York Times bestselling book Black Belt Patriotism.

Starting at "There's something the U.S. government and unions don't want you to know," Norris copy-and-pasted six straight paragraphs from his book, changing around a few words along the way to try to protect himself, we guess. But then a seventh paragraph is announced as an excerpt from the book. Not only is Norris dumb enough to plagiarize, he's consistently dumb enough to point to just exactly where he's lifting material.

I know this is heartbreaking. But it's time for everyone to find a new martial arts hero. Isn't one of Will Smith's little ones a ninja these days? Give him a World Net Daily column instead.

[Image via AP]