New Obama Jobs! Panetta to Defense, Petraeus to CIA

Now that Barack Obama has released his long-form birth certificate, let's play What Other Evil News Is He Trying to Distract Us From? Maybe it's this: The AP reports that CIA Director and former Bill Clinton chief of staff Leon Panetta will take over for Defense Secretary Robert Gates this summer, while Afghanistan commander Gen. David Petraeus will replace Panetta at the CIA. Does the Obama administration want us talking about this?

Yes, since these two appointments have been trial-ballooned and considered a sure thing for months, and now administration officials are confirming it with the AP. Panetta and Petraeus, pretty unknown characters there! Although we heard a rumor that they were secretly born, as twins, in Outer Space, thousands of millenia ago. Literally a few exits down the Space Highway from where Star Wars happened. Donny Trump already has some goons on the moon, inspecting craters.

[Image via AP]