A Virtual Party Report from the 'Time 100' Gala

Last night Time magazine had their big fancy shindig for its "100 Most Influential" list and many of the anointed showed up to Jazz at Lincoln Center to be rich, famous, and beautiful together.

Our invitation must have been lost in the mail, but we did send fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern to ask everyone some questions. No one responded to her querulous queries, but we have to print something, so here is what she asked everyone.

A Virtual Party Report from the 'Time 100' GalaS

"So, where is your time machine?"

Anna Kendrick, Amy Poehler, and Aziz Ansari [Photo via Getty]

A Virtual Party Report from the 'Time 100' GalaS

"Serena, how did you get your hair red? Did you use the blood of a million babies? And is Seth Meyers really your date? Really? Couldn't you do better?"

Blake Lively and Seth Meyers [Photo via Getty]

A Virtual Party Report from the 'Time 100' GalaS

"Hey guys, where's Oprah?"

Cory Booker and Gayle King [Photo via Getty]

A Virtual Party Report from the 'Time 100' GalaS

"Brian, is it really as big as they say?"

Brian Williams via Getty [Photo via Getty]

A Virtual Party Report from the 'Time 100' GalaS

"Hey, Sting. Is the restraining order still in place? Oh, I guess so. Again, I'm so sorry about what happened that time in India. Really. Will you ever forgive me?"

Sting, Trudy Styler, Rick Stengel, and Kim Kelleher [Photo via Getty]

A Virtual Party Report from the 'Time 100' GalaS

"Are you guys a couple? No! Goodie! I'm not wearing panties. You wanna...you know? You know?"

Darren Criss and Marky Mark [Photo via Getty]

A Virtual Party Report from the 'Time 100' GalaS

"So, do you guys, um, have the same barber? What did you ever do to him?"

Tom Freston, Brian Grazer, and Saad Mohseni [Photo via Getty]

A Virtual Party Report from the 'Time 100' GalaS

"Holy shit, it's Oprah. Oprah! Oprah! Is that really you? Who the hell are you guys? Why won't you let me talk to Oprah!"

Joe Klein and Carmelo Anthony [Photo via Getty]

A Virtual Party Report from the 'Time 100' GalaS

"What's with the hats?"

Bruno Mars and Philip Lawrence [Photo via Getty]

A Virtual Party Report from the 'Time 100' GalaS

"Alright, Sting. I'm leaving already. Jesus!"

Sting [Photo via Getty]