We've only seen the first "Meet the Cast" teaser of Geordie Shore the MTV UK version of Jersey Shore and already we're disappointed. Just like you can't make soccer happen in the U.S., you can't make guidos happen in the U.K.
First of all, the thing is called Geordie Shore. For those of you who don't know how to find Urban Dictionary on the internet, a Geordie is a somewhat derogatory term for someone from the northeast of England. It's like they called this thing Hillbilly Shore. Anyway, we were ready for a cast of characters that were native to the isle, but no, instead we got a bunch of less muscled Situations and Snooki wannabes.
Just look at Jay, James, Greg, and Gaz. They just look like guidos who never found protein supplements. Why couldn't they have gotten some soccer hooligans or some other species indigenous to their population? Gaz is even saying his dick is as big as a television remote. Looks like someone wants to be Vinny really bad.
We give credit to Charlotte-Letitia for having the most ornate hyphenated name we've ever seen on reality TV, but she, Vicky, Sophie, and Holly come complete with fake tans, poofs, short skirts, and bad extensions. It's like their guido paint by numbers. And they're from the country that brought us chavs and WAGs! Why are they resorting to rip off the style of some 21-year-old midget from New York?
There's a reason that Jersey Shore is MTV's most popular show. It's because it is original. So try to find your own shtick, Geordie Shore, or else everyone is just going to know that you're sloppy seconds.