You Are Not Middle Class

Think you're middle class? Bullshit! Idiots! Nobody in the entire world knows what class they're in, these days. Rich Americans don't think they're rich until they're septa-millionaires. And foreigners are just as bad; a new study of 1,100 Argentinians found that "everyone thought they were basically middle class."

Everyone! And disabusing them of that notion does nothing but expose the fundamental greed underlying all of our polluted fallen human souls:

People who thought they were relatively richer than they actually were started to demand higher levels of income redistribution when told they were actually relatively poor. After all, learning that they were poorer than they had believed also meant they'd be more likely to benefit from redistributive policies than they originally believed.

The rich don't think they're rich because they're ungrateful bastards. The middle class think they're rich because they're dumb bastards. And when you set them straight, they just grasp for more, the greedy bastards.

"Revolution!" cry the ignorant bastards.

[Economix; photo via Shutterstock]