A Guide to Megan Fox's Straight-to-DVD Bird Sex MovieS

The studio behind Megan Fox's straight-to-DVD movie stinkbomb, Passion Play, released a new cache of images and teasers today. Even lead actor Mickey Rourke admits that the movie about a freak show "bird lady" is "not very good." So why did this movie get made?

A Guide to Megan Fox's Straight-to-DVD Bird Sex MovieS

It all started when Megan heard that sexy bird lady movies were all the rage. "If Natalie gets feathered sex scenes, then so do I," she said, grabbing a wad of feathers, ripping her clothes off, and leaping into Mickey Rourke's arms. (Mila Kunis was busy that day.) "But if I am to be a bird," Megan said to herself, "What kind of bird would I be?"

The Swell-Breasted Boobie, she decided.

A Guide to Megan Fox's Straight-to-DVD Bird Sex MovieS

The Hot-Crotched Nuthatch was also a possibility.

"You ever smell the ocean?" Megan asked.
"No, but I can smell our cinema stinkbomb from a mile away," Mickey replied.

A Guide to Megan Fox's Straight-to-DVD Bird Sex Movie

"I am a bird in a gilded cage," Megan sighed.
"I am an Oscar-nominated actor caged in an 'astoundingly bad,' 'unfathomably bad,' 'near-painful,' 'laughter at the wrong moments' and 'guffaw'-inducing movie," Mickey growled.

A Guide to Megan Fox's Straight-to-DVD Bird Sex MovieS

"Maybe if I wear a teddy bear nighty, and all the male roles are tough-shelled softies-at-heart, like in The Wrestler?"

A Guide to Megan Fox's Straight-to-DVD Bird Sex MovieS

"No, it's hopeless. Let's stick to what we're good at: I'll take my top off..."
"...and I'll glue my eyeballs to your chest."